My name is Mar’yam, daughter of Thaoban Adam Abdullahi of Ilorin, Kwara state.
I was born on a Saturday, 8th of December 1990.
I am the first of 9 siblings; 5 charming guys and 3 other beautiful girls.
Today would mark my 28th year, living, healthy and happy.
Now, a lot of people see me and say “she’s lucky”, I see me and say “I am blessed”.
Today, I would not tell you about all the mistakes I have made in the past; far and near, nor will I tell you of the paths I have threaded; rough and smooth. Though, I do not desire to bore you with memories of me growing up, neither do I wish to encumber you with dear wishes for the future, a little of it all is what would get us to our destination.
I believe strongly I am where I’m supposed to be. I have no explanation for that beyond the total trust I have in my Lord who has brought me this far.
“28 is a big number to me”, I remember saying to a new friend, just recently. “well you’re still quite young… You’re not 35” my friend said. “…At 35, I would be a really big woman in sha Allah…” I stated.
As much as I am not one with a mapped out “5-10 years goal plan” not even “new year resolutions” do it for me, I simply live my life one day a time. I believe strongly however, that if I am where I am at 28 and I do not stop working hard, I should be that “woman” at 35.
You see, folks like us don’t get our dreams handed to us on a platter of gold, we work, hard, sometimes harder, for it. I was never born with “a silver spoon” (would have loved to check the kind of spoon though, for history’s sake at least), neither was I raised in a mansion. The only luxury we had, growing up, was a large extended family, we were quite a number of us, staying with my maternal grandmother, from whom I accumulated wisdom(God bless her beautiful soul) we were all close and fortunate to have ourselves, we still are. I believe there is where I learnt my first important lesson at life; people are important to you (and your success), family most importantly. That also is where I held my second lesson at life, to be One of average wants and desires.
Years later, I had to stay with my mother, she gave me the greatest assets I have today; a kind heart and love for children. She had just completed her service and she had a little boy, my 3rd brother to take care of, he was still a toddler then, soon my world revolved around his’; I had to babysit him most of the time. A couple of years later, she had another, right there in my arms, and another, then another (I call this one my “1st born”) until the very last one.
From her I drew strength, knowledge, resilience, determination. In her I found passion, charity, beauty, and with her, I learnt Love (the African woman kind), hard work, patience and peace.
My father was away for some while, he went to the Arab’s man land to study, never knew much about him growing up. During our holidays however, he would take us out; swimming, then to the eatery or travelling, he travels a lot. He got back to Nigeria permanently a few years after I’d started staying with my mom.
Dad became our teacher, our friend and our father. He was always a teacher first. You have to learn everything learnable. He would read us books about Thomas Eddisson (he’s still looking for a Thomas Eddisson from amongst us), Alexander the great, tell us history of places, people, wars and all, and there is always a portion of the Qur’an to memorize every morning.
I grew up to love and admire him immensely, this is a man with vast knowledge and enormous ideas. He is a go-getter.
With him, I was trained to withstand heat, to be faithful, to be resourceful, to be smart, to be accountable (we still keep a book of account for anything we get from him), to be industrious, to seek knowledge, regardless; “no knowledge is a waste” he always say, to respect people; old and young, different faith, tribes and all. The list is endless.
I stayed with my paternal grandmother for a little less than a year, just before I got married. She was formidable, a force to reckon with, a lioness, a leader by example, a wise-box (as opposed to chatterbox) above all, she was a mother, a caregiver, the embodiment of charity. Family is everything to her, love, peace and unity were her watchword, and she valued human relations, her PR skill was top notch. All these I learnt from her and she was my confidant. I miss her a lot still. God bless her departed soul.
I never had the luxury of having “role models” like folks do now. My mother and father have always been my role models (topic for another day).
On friendship, I have only a few, a very few in fact. I look forward to making new acquaintances almost everyday though, for I know the value of human relations and human resources. I have folks I consider friends for we’ve “broken bread” or “teaed”, we’ve chatted deep into the night and reached out to ourselves for emotional support and more. But the only true ones, the ones I go to any length for and with, the ones I have come to accept as family are those who support my little endeavours; conspicuously and otherwise.
Of arrogance, I have no share, but of pride, I have cause to feel. I’m proud, most importantly, of being a mother; of a beautiful wise little girl and a smart cute little boy. I am also proud, of our achievements, though little, at the NobleHeart Children Foundation, that pride isn’t mine alone, it has always been a collective thing.
Gratitude, a word that never could bear the enormous weight of thankfulness and appreciation I feel, to God Almighty first and most importantly, for “my 28”, all before, within and beyond it, then to my parents, to my siblings, my spouse, my loved ones; friends and NobleHeart Family, my clients, and my well-wishers.
“When the time is here and I leave, I would, gladly and grateful, with a soft smile, hopefully, for the only thing that would be worthy in my life spent, are the ones I touched in different ways possible”
My name is Mar’yam Thaoban
And this is not my story, yet.
NobleHeart
Dec. 08 2018
On the side, I actually am a very happy person, make it get contagious too sometimes.
journalofastudentmother 