A lot has happened since my last update of this journal of mine, but I assure you that the journey just got a lot more interesting albeit challenging.
It wasn’t much of a challenge going to classes with pregnancy, in fact, it was fun. Some privileges came with that and I enjoyed every bit of it. Also, I try as much as possible to carry myself in a way that made people believe that I was strong, I had to bring myself to be strong anyway, even though half of the time, I was filled with anxiety, stress and fear, and the other half, I was hopeful, optimistic and full of faith. I would wake up each day asking Allah to keep me strong and make my studies, the pregnancy and delivery easy for me. I cried more times than I could ever recall and sometimes, I simply wanted to leave it all behind, go home and simply relax and be taken care of: I mean, I wanted to give it all up! Especially during my last trimester. Come to think of it, who wants to wake up every single day to constant back aches, joint loosening, periodic Braxton Hicks contraction, general tiredness, amongst other such symptoms, and still have to go sit in a 5-hour class?
Now, with a few weeks old baby, my life just got more interesting and studying a lot more tasking.
I am grateful to God for an amazing support system however, my family – my mother especially, she is always there for me, even at the point of delivery, she always has been: from the first up until this present one, I am glad this was no exception and I am full of appreciation to my creator that He has blessed me with her.
Words can not quantify my emotions at the thought of my husband and how Allah has made it possible for him to witness and in fact be a part of the birthing process. I am overwhelmed with Gratitude to my Lord and I am glad that He allayed my fears in that regards.
These past few weeks have really not been a rosy one, not even close! In between trying to keep up with supplying my baby’s breastmilk and catching up with studies; the former I’ve been doing quite well, can’t say much about the latter; it’s been a herculean task, that one.
I won’t bother to get started on the physical changes my body has experienced and is still experiencing, although folks are full of compliments upon setting eyes on me and some even expressed shock upon their knowledge that I’d only just put to bed, I know that I am not fully healed and I pray to Allah to hasten my recovery and to keep me healthy, I still battle with post-partum symptoms and I am sometimes scared, hoping I’m not pushing myself too far…
To be continued!
Mar’yam Thaoban
NobleHeart
18.3.’22
journalofastudentmother 