NLS Chronicles Wk3: Home, Sweet Home!

Our last week on campus just before the holiday break wasn’t really eventful, save for the lecturers actually rushing us through the course work for the week in a bid to balance meeting up with the new timetable and discharging their duty to teach us following a strict and detailed course outline. Lectures are only supposed to be for a specific number of weeks and each week has been designed in such a way that all the topics that need to be taught must be taught, there is no room for spill overs: especially not in the Almighty Lagos Campus with its yet-to-be-matched history of excellence. Sometimes I really feel for the lecturers too actually, they are as affected as we are with this new development, perhaps even more than we are. They are the ones who’ll have to spend nothing less than 8 hours teaching 2 streams of students, ensuring that nothing is left out.

It was such a relief though, the mere thought of having three whole weeks to ourselves: no 8am classes, no mandatory group meetings, no personal/group tasks, no “pass the microphone to your neighbour”, Et cetera.

The week came to an end so quickly for me, I had to constantly ensure that the plans for my event for the weekend were in place: my NGO would be having its fifth anniversary and we plan to celebrate it as a dinner/Award night, we also would use the opportunity to unveil our mega project which involves building a home for Destitute children. It is my hope that we are able to get people key into this dream so we can all collectively bring it to reality. I was looking forward to a fulfilling weekend, albeit stressful.

My daughter had called me earlier in the week to inform me of her state of health, I wasn’t too pleased, in fact, I was scared and sad I couldn’t be there with her. She’d only just recovered from typhoid-malaria illness before I resumed school, and I could not think of why she was complaining of the same symptoms again. I spoke with my mom about my worries and informed her of my discussion with the doctor, I knew she was in good hands but I simply couldn’t help but wish I was there with her. My husband also assured me she’s going to be fine and he made sure he was in touch with them every now and then. Each time I called or received her call, one thing that tells it all is her voice: with her, I sometimes wonder how much she communicates just with the sound of her voice, I can tell just how happy, sad, hopeful, discreet even, she is with a single “hello mummy”. By Friday, she sounded better and I was grateful to my God. I’ve experienced the sickness of a loved one – one of the worst kinds, I seek refuge in my creator from any experience that would bring that memory close to me again.

“I seek protection in the perfect words of Allah from every evil that has been created.”
[Muslim]

It is narrated that the Prophet (ﷺ) used to say the above dua for the protection of al-Hasan and al-Husayn (His grandsons). This is a beautiful dua for protection of family members, especially our beloved children.

On the last day of lectures for the year, the excitement in the air was uncontained, practically everyone deserved the break and looked foward to it.
Our lecturers too I’m sure. As soon as the class was over, students were seen immediately getting their bags and belongings, and vacating the halls of residence, a good percentage left on that day: those who had a flight to catch, and those who simply couldn’t wait to leave the past few weeks behind also. I however made sure I completed my registration process, “the medicals”, I then treated myself to a nice plate of ofada rice which I ordered from a newly-found-favourite restaurant in the area. By night-time I had a good long sleep through the night. oh, how much I needed that! A luxury we’ve missed these past couple of weeks.
I was glad for one thing – I didn’t have to take my stuffs back home with me as I’d feared, that was one of the advantages of staying in the Executive room where I stay with my friend. I left with just my books which I hope I would be able to read and my dirty laundry. The drive down home didn’t look so daunting in the morning as it would have been if I’d left the day before.

I miss school already though.
Barely a week into the holidays, I’m here dreaming about classes already!

Well, the weekend was highly fulfilling, I was elated to meet my children and family in good health, the event went well and I felt honoured greatly by the amazing number of people who showed up simply to celebrate with us, with me. I was also taken by surprise when my team mates presented me with an “HERO OF THE YEAR” award. It was a very sweet and touching moment for me, a tear even escaped my eyes. A few days after, I recovered from the illness caused due to how much I’d stressed myself at the event. There were moments when I cried out in pain though, but it was all worth it, and my husband was there on the other end of the line, keeping me together.

The kids are presently on visitation at their uncle’s, to spend the holiday with their grandma and others. My son had said to me before they left “mommy don’t worry, nobody would disturb you now and you can rest well”, if only he knew just how much I’ll miss them; I’m missing them greatly as it is. I’d hope to spend this period with them before leaving for school again, but I’m glad they are able to spend some time with their father’s mother, the loss of her son – their father – has not exactly been easy on her. I’m sure they’re having a terrific time. I’m here, just resting and trying to catch up on lost sleeps and good meals.

The only thought on my mind while bedridden was …”My Lord has honored me.”
Q89:v15

For indeed He has!

Then which of the favors of your Lord do you doubt?
Q53:v55

Absolutely none!

Mar’yam Thaoban
NobleHeart
24.12.’21

NLS Chronicles Wk2: The Initiation.

Another week has come to an end, and oh, what a relief! This week was an amazing and eventful one, personally for me, the former especially, and the latter for us all collectively. We started off with our induction on Monday and by Tuesday we’d been properly briefed and introduced into the system.

We were “initiated” in fact on that Tuesday: the rules, principles, code of conduct, penalties – queries, threat of disbarment, rustication, etc., trust the Legal profession to hold you to the highest of standards – “Fit and proper” is the watchword. Most of us were lost at first, but we quickly got a hold of ourselves – well, I did, that much I can say for myself. “It would all be over soon” I promised myself.

I’ve heard (most of us have actually) a whole lot about how rigorous and tasking law school is, Lagos state campus especially, raised to the power of two for whatever is going down in other campuses, here we are, experiencing it firsthand. I must confess though, I find it thrilling and I feel invigorated, at the same time, it is absolutely draining. The sudden burst of energy and uncertainty we’re usually filled with in the morning, gives way to excitement and awe sometimes by midday and by late afternoon sheer exhaustion. It is fun however, a learning experience designed to be etched in our memories forever! I doubt any of us would ever have to experience such again all through the remainder of our lives.

My daughter calls every morning, afternoon and nighttime, sometimes the little brother was there with her and at other times, it was just her. It was always soothing to hear from her. From “mommy, so how do you feel now?” to “when are you coming home?” there is something inspiring about hearing from them, an absolutely priceless feeling. On Wednesday by noon, I received their call immediately I was done with classes around 3pm, and they sang a birthday song to me, boy! was I so happy? that was  an understatement. There I was, thinking about how to join the very long queue (under the sun) in order to sign out for the day, the only thing on my mind: how to empty my bladder, get some food and say my salat, then settle in to call them. For a moment there, I’d totally forgotten it was my birthday. It was a pleasure to just listen to them sing, I also sang along with them and simply blushed my present troubles away at that moment.

Everything came rushing back: the reality of what day it was. I opened my phone to hundreds of messages – best wishes, prayers, some with my pictures up their walls, and all that. It was quite overwhelming. The previous year, I had plans. It was my third decade then and I’d plan to celebrate it in a simple style – with my Foundation’s anniversary, launching of 2 of my books (journal of a student mother and a book of poetry) and also simply showing gratitude at how far I’ve come – Three wholesome decades! It was such a big deal. But then, 2020 was a year that happened to a lot of us; simply surviving was the height of most of our achievements. I lost my (late) husband to cancer and that was it for me. I spent my birthday in mourning – I was in “iddah” (waiting period – a compulsory 4 months and 10days stay indoors for a widow in Islam) I remember my family and a very few close friends throwing me a surprise “something” though, it was indeed memorable.

Some time in between trying to think of something to celebrate myself with – a good food perhaps (and most importantly), and how to solve the task for the day (our assignment – we get one for the next class before the end of each class of the day) I dug out some of the pictures from the previous year, and I couldn’t help the overwhelming emotions that enveloped me. I shrugged the loss off and simply embraced the gratitude and sheer happiness on the surface of it. The words of my Lord  in suratu d-Dhuhaa Q93:v5
“And your Lord is going to give you, and you will be satisfied. “Struck me and all I could think of was that
“So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?” (Q55:v25)
Absolutely none!

My Lord has given me, and I am graciously satisfied.

I spent the night with my friend, my roommate and we found a super nice restaurant where we had a sumptuous and delicious meal. I was delighted.

The remainder of the week passed on quickly, except for an highlight the following day after my birthday when I had a meal pack delivered to me from my sis/Bro-In-law. I was pleased to receive it, plus the food was delicious. I had my first experience of being asked a question in class on Friday and alhamdulillah, I was able to respond. I couldn’t go home on Friday because we had to prepare at our group meeting the following day, a Saturday, for our Monday course task. I left for home as soon as I could, after attending the meeting and attempting the tasks given with the group. It was a tiring drive: at some point, I had to park somewhere to catch a few minutes power nap in fact. I would have simply loved to stay behind and explain to my kids that I couldn’t make it: for a moment, that option was so appealing, I needed all the rest I could get anyway and in addition, I still have some catching up to do with my studies. I simply couldn’t; I owe them this much.

It was indeed an eventful week and the best parts of it were the times I spent listening to my husband tell me how beautiful I am, how much he believes in me, and looking forward to spending the weekend, regardless of how short it is, with my lil’ lovies.

Mar’yam Thaoban

NobleHeart

11.12.’21

NLS Chronicles Wk1

My Stressed face

The week came to an end as soon as it started. We had begun.

It was our fifth day of registration and all I felt was soreness, head and back ache, cough and general tiredness, and we’re not even done yet.

The registration had started pretty smooth and quick, by day one, I’d sorted accommodation and moved into an executive room – the only better option in the “not-well-maintained” hostel building, as with every other thing across various sectors in the country, the best option would be the super executive, an ensuite room that is meant for a single occupant. Well, you need money to pay for where I stay, and  good money to pay for the super executive, when you have neither, you would have to stay in the general room where you’re “packed” with 5 (more or less) other persons of varying personalities, tribes and faith, in a room where the condition is nothing to write home (or to blog) about.

The five-stage registration ought to be a seamless and quite straightforward process, but no, it was far from it. Those who had the opportunity to complete theirs by day 3 or 4 have been done huge favours in return for a favour or were simply enjoying some privileges, very few were just fortunate. It was a wholesomely tiring and highly grating experience, for me especially in my present condition, and others in similar status.

Every morning I heard from my kids, the sweet low voice of the elder one gives me all I need to start the day with while the energetic voice of the younger one reminds me to keep going regardless. By noon/evening, after school, we speak again and I fill them in on how tiring my day was and how exhausted I was, their soothing “sorry mommy” is usually enough to make me forget the stress of the day but for the aches and soreness I feel in specific parts of my body, I turn to painkillers for rescue. My husband also calls in every now and then, telling me of how proud he is of me and how strong and beautiful I am. By the end of day 4 however, upon seeing how wasted I was, he asked me, in a sincere conversation, if I wanted to keep up with the process or I needed a break, temporarily or even permanent one, I have enough work cut out for me anyway. I told him sincerely how I just have to see this through, that I believe the stress would be over once registration is completed. In all honesty though, I do not believe that entirely, but at least, registration stress would be over and it would have given way to “academic stress”. It is all part of the package you see – a learning process, and especially in a country such as ours, everything is hard except that which God has made easy.

It was day 5 already and I was fortunate to have completed 4 out of the 5 stages required to be a bona-fide student of the Nigerian Law School, Lagos Campus. I’d fallen sick however. I went home to my family as soon as I could, the over 1 hour drive was not something I looked forward to but I did it anyway, the end they say justifies whatever you had to sacrifice to get there – I just wanted to see my kids, and sleep on my bed, and make my food, and spend quality time with my husband.

I miss my friends though, my sisters. I’m grateful however, one is with me in Lagos and we share the room, others have been posted to other NLS campuses: Yola, Abuja and Enugu. I’m glad they’re not alone there too and we do catch up every now and then on the group chat. There are several other familiar faces from school, the “fortunate ones”, the “bookworms”, the “privileged ones” Et cetera. We see one another, exchange pleasantaries and move on with our individual determination and goals, what brought us together might be similar but what drives us in unequalled.

Take me for instance, In the course of pursuing this degree and getting to this stage in particular, it has been sheer grace – God’s grace.

Now is not the time to unfold it all, I have aching eyes and a back to put to rest, and some lil’ ones to rock to bed and spend quality time with for now.

I pray the coming weeks are easier to live through.

“Allahumma la sahla illa ma ja’altahu sahla, wa ‘anta taj-alul hazna idha shi’ta sahla

Meaning: “O Allah! There is nothing easy except what You make easy, and You make the difficult easy if it be Your Will.”

I already made this a part of my routine supplication, among others, may Allah keep us firm upon His path and may He continue to ease our affairs.

Mar’yam Thaoban

NobleHeart

3.12.’21