Episode 2: Convocation Week, Struggles Continue Still. 

Another week has passed in between our white and black story. I’ve been caught up real hard in a lot of thoughts and activities,  trying to get it right still; “the sorting”  I called it. I’m progressing though but I’m yet to fully sort myself and activities, don’t know why it’s taking this long. 

I saw my kids last weekend, I was overjoyed. It’s always like that you see, the over-flowing happiness at setting my eyes upon them and the pride at hearing them call “mommy”, especially my lil’ man. He clung to me immediately he saw me and refused to let anyone else carry him, my mom was the only one he would stretch towards for her to carry him again. It was fun listening to him call mommy and say his other baby words I’m yet to fully understand. And his sister, words alone can not explain how I feel each time I look at her. Though I spent just a day with them, because I had to go home to spend the remainder of the weekend with their dad, it was a memorable moment, as always. One that always last me through another week of tumultuous activities in school.

It’s convocation week in my school and its a near lecture-free week, I call it that because only 2 out of the five days of the week is when lectures hold, the Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are for the event. It was fun. It was inspiring too. Seeing a journey of 4 or 5 years reach a destination, their happiness brought to life with parents and family members basking in pride at yet another success in form of a graduating offspring. I had to be on campus, for tutorials and it was overwhelming watching graduation gowns flowing behind the wearers and caps askew on heads, above all, unrepressed joy masked on faces. While passing by a group of the celebrants, I had a momentary spill-off from the euphoria that rented the air, I then continued my journey in my mind because the struggle continues for us, at least for the next few years. 

Yes, I had to be on campus for tutorials, group discussions, reading and other academic engagments. Periods like this – convocation – is usually used by a lot of students to have a break; spend time with family, travel home (for those who come from quite far places), pursue a personal project, study etc. It would have been an ample opportunity to spend sometime with my family too, but this session is different. I could not afford to. There’s still a lot to be learned, a lot to get used to, a lot of cases to be known and topics to understand perfectly well. I mean, here is a field where one has to familiarize oneself with cases that happened even before one’s mom and dad were born, or before one’s grandparents met. It has been tasking truly, but we’re taking it a step at a time. I’m especially trying to “sort” a near-perfect schedule for myself, a suitable one. I’ve been finding that a herculean task probably because I’m not staying on campus and the time I get home varies. 

So I saw that cousin of mine, the one I mentioned in the previous series that she cares for her baby herself and goes through a lot of stress in the process of studying to acquire an LLB after a B.A. Degree in another discipline. Well, she’s now in her final year and her little baby is now a little girl. That is “how time flies”  indeed. Now she’ll be counting months to the end of her struggles as a student-mother, one that had to care for her child alongside her studies. She’s really been strong and above all determined. And very soon, she’ll look back at those moments and thank God she made that leap. In her also, I draw determination. 

Another weekend is here and I just want to spend it as I love to; with my babies. All that is left after the class on Friday is to count the hours until I have them in my arms again. 

Thanks for reading! 


Kindly drop your thoughts in the comment box below and Don’t forget to send your contributions to maryamthawbaan@gmail.com 

The White, The Black and The In-between. 

THE WHITE, THE BLACK AND THE IN-BETWEEN. 

Just a few days ago I was home and thinking: The Holidays is finally over and most schools would resume in a couple of days time. The kids are back from their holiday with their paternal grandma and getting set to be returned to my mom’s place. I still have quite a few things to sort out before leaving for school as well, so I got the kids to my mom’s as soon as I could, with the hope of spending an additional week after the yuletide and new year holidays at home and sorting what’s left to be sorted out before I resume another session. 

Plans changed. I received a message late Monday, 2nd of January night that we have a lecture the following day by 9:30am and that was the beginning of my disrupted plans and my monochromic journey. These lecturers don’t even want to give us a chill pill, I thought to myself, determined not to miss any lecture this session (if I can help it), especially not the first, I woke my husband up gently and informed him. 

I had intended to run an errand for him the next day and now a lecture is to hold. There were however some other challenges; what do I wear and how do I go to school all through the week, as home is quite far from school. Some of the things I had intended to sort out that week was completing my dresses, the white and black dresses we’ll be required to wear henceforth. I had collected money from my husband to buy clothing materials, I told him I wanted to make the dresses myself so I could launch my fashion outfit gradually, as a lot of people are not aware I design and make dresses and that is not a passion which I want to die, I intend to grow it as much as circumstances permit. He obliged and gave me his usual speech of “just don’t lose your focus with all these things you keep dabbling into.” I was happy and I set out to work, that was a few weeks ago. Now It’s time to start wearing these dresses and I’m not entirely through with them. I searched through the heap and finally caught one that had been completed already, great! Now, I prepared my mind, I have to wake up as early as possible, so I can leave home on time in order to get to school in time for the lecture. 

Here I am now, I made it on that day and we’ve been receiving lectures seriously. Its been a little challenging as I didn’t get an accommodation on campus so I went from home for a few days, but now, I’m staying somewhere not as far as home, though not entirely close to school as well. I’ve since gone back home to sort what’s left to be sorted, and also paid a visit to my babies at my parents’ place. 

It has been wonderful seeing a lot of my course mates and some new faces that just joined us too; the “diploma”  and “D.E” students. Cute faces in their white and black dresses, “uniform” as some would call it, proud of their of choice of discipline. Happy to have made it so far. Several determined to continue doggedly and a few still not sure of what they signed up for.  

I’m also one, trying to sort myself,  within, now, in the pursuit of my dream, engaging in my passions, doing my little businesses and of course being there for my family. I have faith though – The only thing that keeps me going. 

We’re all in this journey together; the white, the black and what’s in-between for each and every one of us, and we still have quite some distance ahead of us. 

The journal is back in this second series which promises to be more fun! 

Kindly drop your thoughts in the comment box below and Don’t forget to send your contributions to maryamthawbaan@gmail.com 

Thanks for reading!